3rd email to Kim Fry apologizing for pushin her down @recess (2nd grade)...no reply? Either its still an issue or I have the wrong address.
Welp, dropped all my new graph paper in a rain puddle. Now how do I design Zarstaroth's Keep for my AD&D 2nd Ed. Solitaire campaign tonight?
Idea: IPhone app that calls random #, appears on their phone as friend/family member. The best relationships start w crazy misunderstandings
Hangin out @Gamestop, givin customers free dos/donts on game purchases. Manager:"Don't you have somewhere else to be?" Nope,TCBY closed at 6
I'm sort of a real life NPC (Non-Playable Character.) I don't initiate conversations but if people talk to me I tend to say the same things.
it would sure make finding love easier if there was an app I could update instantly like Twitter, only for Craigslist Missed Connections
Ehh I thought foursquare was a thing for meeting people at these places? Spent like 2h40m waiting, whoops. At least I was at the Lego store
Hoping to pitch my Sci-Fi themed tea shop Codeword: Rooibos to some potential investors. Gonna work in a "steep" pun if possible.
Unsure what to wear to meeting tonite. "Tee Party"s pretty vague. Torn between Depeche Mode tour shirt or this one w the airbrushed wyvern.
Just got a call from an actual friend of Sarah Palin wants me to be a volunteer community coordinator?! Take THAT, Kevin "Six Degrees" Bacon
Got a call from Dad!? Just Seth playin a prank. One of these days, Seth...he'll call from his private jet and itll really be him, you'll see
Ugh, bike stolen from out front again (forgot to lock it up). Oh well, someone must've been in a hurry, late to see someone who loves them.
Yes Mom tell me exactly how crippling depression pangs feel similar to hunger. Then tell me how Albertsons replaced M&Ms with a PhD program.
Dreamt I had a lil kitty who loved me, playin w my toes while I'm tryin to sleep! Woke up...just this darn Spawn figurine under the blanket.
Cute girl in front of me @Safeway checkout looked right at me, full-on direct, and I just froze. My game just abandons me at the worst times
Had it up to here w these infomercials. They sound so eager to chat on the TV, then you call up and they just wanna talk abt credit cards
An umbrella is like a girl's skirt, unfolding itself to you, but through the hole in the middle only rain falls down, cold and distant.
I like Twitter because most of my real-life conversations seem to have a 140-character limit anyway; might as well be in the drivers seat.
If I were superfamous I'd probably still live here in my room. Comfy, familiar, affordable. Why make it hard for adoring fans to find you?
Ted Fisk came by TCBY today. "Whoa, you *still* work *here*?" Yep, and you're still flailing around in DoctorVille tryin to find yourself.
AAAA left backpack out in rain?!? Laptop ruined, all my journals soaked and ruined...still, I suppose all this moisture is good for the soil
Aggravating when I bump into an old high school buddy who doesn't recognize me? I mean, I know it's been a while but I look exactly the same
Hate that phrase "if you love something, set it free..." Uhm, statistically unlikely so many things in this world werent "meant" to be mine
Helps me alot to think of making friends as a video game, on hardest difficulty mode, no save points, and (best part) an infinite-lives hack
Am I only one who wishes "Walking Dead" could maybe really happen? Don't wanna see everyone die, of course! Just wanna "matter" a lil more.
Unsurprised that good hostage negotiators are so far & few between, this application process is a *maze*. How bout a simple phone interview?
Attention @mattel_inc: please, please, please get back to me concerning my proposed "Apples To Apples: Solitaire" game idea
Can't help but feel that Ms Pacman was a lot more fun back in the day, before I had the emotional maturity to feel sorry for the ghosts.
Regal Cinemas mgr on my case for "reselling" candy in the theater, had to explain I'm giving it away so ppl will sit w me. How is this funny
Well, Seth informs me my wallet was stolen. Maybe, but ehh if so I bet someones having a good time, paying it forward, thinking of me maybe.
Spent day @homeless shelter giving out free hugs in wake of Tucson tragedy; I'd feel better abt it if I hadnt somehow lost my wallet (again)
I wish they'd make the tunnels & slides a little bigger at those indoor play places, I could see them becoming a pretty cool date night spot
Lisa said Jared Loughner and I have the same smile. *shrug* well, kinda what I'm trying to go for: cheerful/cunning. Han Solo. Robin Hood.
Seth having fun with "Fag" Post-Its on back of my jacket, chair,etc. Who cares if Lisa's laughing AT me? Hey, I'm still laughing WITH her.
Mulling surgery to graft my thumb on other side of my hand so I could hold my own hand when times get tough... Heh not rly,just brainstormin
If I had Boots of Elvenkind irl I don't think I'd wear them often. I don't care who hears me, heck, I _want_ people to know I'm around.
Great football game! Not always sure what was going on - a lot different on TV vs. watching from under the bleachers like in high school
Worked it out w Seth. I work his shifts, he pays me w TCBY gift cards. Heck thats what I spend most of $$ on anyways (slave to the smoothie)
Daryl (TCBY mgr) all bent @me. Oh no, I was "fired" way back when, call the TCBY police. Why don't you take an employee poll, Daryl? Afraid?
Snuk into TCBY backrm, gave myself a few shifts this month. Technically not "employed" anymore, but I miss the gang and I know they need me.
Why would I want to watch "The Social Network"? I'm living it. Come on in, the water's fine!
Lisa and I stayed up late on the roof, just talking. Well, not her, it was this charcoal sketch I did, but I got the eyes just about perfect
Thinking about buying a car, but man these big Suburbans are expensive!
I love these crazy unwieldy carts at Ikea. Most natural thing in the world to crash into someone, boom, it's convo time (w humorous intro)
Walking downtown during rush hour is tiring, every time someone honks I have to look to see if it's anyone I might know
Imagine if your last name was Richter so @ every party everyone went "Welcome to da pahty Richter!" Course,I bet it would get old eventually
Thinking seriously abt moving to an apt w an easier-to-remember address. Cant shake this feeling folks are looking for me and can't find me.
No callback from Mr. Fisk (Gr.9 Eng teacher) re starting up a book grp to talk Huck Finn censorship. Guys allergic to voicemail or something
Heard OMDs "If You Leave" @ Safeway checkout this am. Laughed it off, told cashier I just got some soda in my eye. Pretty sure she bought it
Scored some Transformers bed sheets at a garage sale. They say people only sell junk at these things, but these sheets must be 20 years old!
Like everyone doesn't have a homemade pillow filled with newspaper clippings about Princess Diana? Gimme a break, mom.
"It's not too late to sleep like a baby...ha, tell me something I don't know!" Should I bust this out mid-interview or after I accept offer?
Would like a job with @MattressWorldCS You know, like a Quality Assurance type deal. Sleep and see if night terrors go away. A+ on comfort.
Invented a new treat @ TCBY - fill the spaces in FroYo swirls with M&Ms. "Candy won't fill the void?" Tell it to 'SnackCone,' Dr. Finkleberg
Had that daydream again where I sing for a famous rock band and we go back in time to play in front of my highschool classmates. God it owns
#happynewyears probably gonna hit up a few sports bars tonight. PatontheBack City, even scored a pair of hugs last yr. My personal Superbowl
Seth with the comedian's take of course, says he'd rather jump than get counseling from me. Ho ho ha ha, Seth. You'd probably die, you know.
Spent day on Gladstone Bridge, talking down New Yrs suicide jumpers. Lots of crabby denials as usual. It's cool, remember, I used to be you.
Picked up a "ho" by mistake this pm. Turns out she really did need a lift tho, so took her upstate. Oh well, Life is a Highway (famous song)
I hate that the stock photos in picture frames are these wholesome ppl... like anyone would believe for a second that that's someone I know.
Lately when I give sidelong glances at girls, I've been trying to do it on every 32nd beat of a slow trancelike bass rhythm only I can hear
Mr. Cross next door: "Stay out of my driveway!" Me (to myself): "Close your drapes and stop rubbing your family atmosphere in my face!"
cut the SH*T out of my hand fixing Lisa's garbage disposal!!! Wrapped it but won't stop bleeding. Still, glad I could take one for the team
Xmas tree looks much more festive now that I giftwrapped up some of my Transformers to myself. Bonus: cant remember which ones are which...?
Someone(Seth??) told Lisa I dont/cant/wont pee standing up. Right, like it makes sense to voluntarily pass on a 5-10 min rest/nap/bookbreak.
I'd like to be a "glass half full" guy but honestly when in real life is a glass _exactly_ half full? Life's not like that, not for me.
Q: why isn't Jesus smiling in hardly any of these Bible scenes? Dude you have twelve (12) friends, you could, I dunno, act like it
When I went to McD's and asked for a birthday party, the girl behind the counter asked where my kid was. A bit forward, but I gave her my #.
Anyone else obsessed with those doors in hotel rooms that have another door behind them? If I ever stay in a hotel room I hope it has one!
Spent some time tonight @ mirror working on a couple "casual intro" scripts. Based on my observations a lot of it is a good confident slouch
Thinking about getting one of those Hot Topic Ts w sassy joke about being insane,but conversationally where do you go from there? Too risky.
Dont think Ive ever actually recd food from vending machine @ Shell station. Eats my $ every time. Keep tryin, tho, just to be around people
Idea for treadmill motivation: listen to "Runaway Train" on repeat while imagining I'm a teen escaping an abusive household.
Okay, yes I coined "FroYo" during my campaign for a Lord of the Rings/TCBY tie in, but nobody bought into it. I still say it's not too late.
Missed morning ride, walked to work in freezing rain, was splashed by car and attacked by dog. ALMOST enough to kill my appetite for FroYo.
I wish they'd get on the ball w cloning tech, I cant be the only one who wishes more or less daily there was some way to hang out w myself
I feel a certain kinship w Julian Assange. Wildly talented, always on the run, looks older than he is, dogged by absurd sexual allegations
So when Wikileaks breaks a story is there a press release or what? Wondering when my archive of TCBY emails is gonna hit the public.
Sometimes I wish an alien symbiote would come to earth via asteroid and kinda take over my body, get me into adventures, unleash the beast
Trying to decide if it's more cost efficient to advertise my Facebook address by leaving out those fake dollar bills, or with real money
Saying "I know" is the easy part. Getting someone to say "I love you" is the trick. I dont think being Corellian has anything to do with it.
Are there zoning restrictions on living in a commercial space? Some of these empty mall shops are so roomy, and close to people/shopping/etc
I like to think of myself as a walking soup kitchen for the emotionally homeless
Sometimes a good cry can feel a little like buying one of those Scratch-It lottery tickets and winning the same amount of $ you paid for it
Got a ton of great candid footage today for my "man on the street" Black Friday documentary, now to edit out some of these party poopers
Despite the bad economy, the rest of my family pitched in & sent a $10 McDonalds gift cert & card in lieu of thanksgiving dinner invitation
I used to consider it a liability that I have a kinda heartshaped head, then it was an advantage, then my body filled out & it didnt matter.
thinking about learning piano just so I can go to Frys and compose a bit on the display-model Casio. This tune in my head would draw a crowd
Some say you miss 100% of the shots you don't make. I'd say I'm missing 97% of the ones I do.
I'm secretly designing my own frozen yogurt store on my AD&D graph paper. That's right, laugh at me on my lunch breaks now... you'll see.
I never bought into the whole 'rebel against your parents' thing. I guess I might have if I thought it would get their attention.
Some days I just feel like I got kicked in the heart. Other days, the bad days, I feel like the proverbial foot just passed right through.
At the suggestion of my therapist, I called up Companion Animal Services. After talking for a bit they refered me to a promising floral shop
4 days, no callback from Kyle (Best Buy) Thought we were gonna get our Wii on w this new 55" TV I bought from him...kinda why I bought it?
Lisa's pitbull hates my guts; seems I intimidate aggressive animals. Wish I knew how to dial down the intensity. We're all in this together!
I love scenes where someones had heart attack or something, in bed surrounded by flowers, loved ones.How does one get to B w/o going thru A?
Okay, timeout: that's 3 times in 2 days that I've been sure I stepped in dog sh*t and turns out i haven't. How lucky can one guy get?
Called bakery today to order "Just Cuz Cake". Clearly they havent migrated cust records to the cloud or theyd know what I was talking about
Went ahead and voted for everyone whose last name sounded like they could use a pick-me-up.
Halloween - the one night where being very short and having a high pitched voice pays off. Unsmith 1, candy age limit 0.
the best part of fall/winter is that nobody thinks its weird that I'm constantly a little too chilly. Plus you can commiserate w strangers.
Goin w a wizard costume this yr. Gandalf, Merlin, Elminster, Dumbledore,even ole Galileo..this evening I'm whoever you want me to be,ladies.
Wish there was a smartphone vidchat app where I could take a buddy/stranger out on the town w me, just chatting abt the things we're seeing?
Woke up 3 am, pretty sure my fly was down all day (Target, Peets, bookstore). Then I thought, "Hey, frak it. This is me. Really, who cares?"
Wow yay, #badconversationstarters is a trending topic. How's about #goodconversationstarters, throw me a bone here Twitter
Seth saw my HWeen costume: "Dumbledore the stupid whore! Dumbledore the stupid whore!" Pfffff, Radagast the Brown actually. Pts for trying.
ugh, failed interview. They want someone w more experience dealing w emotionally traumatized kids age 16-24. So I'm 26, big frickin deal
Disappointing, all these employers NEED an actual resume (just linked em to my YouTube channel). Umm your dislike of Flash is not my problem
Finally saw 'Garden State.' So inspiring. Unfortunately, what they don't tell you is that girls with helmets are "incapable of consent."
Thought about buying a new peacoat at the mall.
Seth says I have the social skills of a Chihuahua. Well, they don't call 'em "man's best friend" for nothing, bro
Stayed in bed today, reimagining classic "what I couldve/shouldve said" convos from high school. Embarrassing? Maybe,but therapeutic as heck
Seriously considering taking up smoking just so I can ask random people if they have a light. Such an easy/natural convo starter
Homecoming season! Rented my tux and a much cooler car. Still deciding which liquor store will draw the cool kids who need me to buy liquor
Lately I've been leaning too far back in my chair & toppling backwards on purpose. Embarrassing,but a guaranteed laugh, even from strangers.
I thought I knew what MILF stood for until it occurred to me that, slang use notwithstanding, friend isn't a verb
Love the focus on gay bullying but gotta wonder where this was when I was getting humiliated in the mensroom by a bunch of Tegan & Sara fans
Seth threw glass of water on me! I fell asleep on the toilet. What's wrong w a lil lavatory sitdown-and-shuteye? Quiet, cool, private. ??
Whoaza, almost got bowled over by this guy in a wheelchair downtown, sure wish I was that confident moving around/through crowds.
Went out to dinner w Doug last night and he tried to kiss me?...Im sure hes used to hearing the Wanna Be Friends speech but I really mean it
Been playing YouTube vids of this guy's acoustic guitar cover songs, crankin em max volume, hoping that my neighbors think its me...
Jottin down rhymes 4 a lil freestyle mix I'm putting together 4 Lisa, hope I have enough skillz/flow to pull off "supersonic"/"neo-platonic"
YES found outofprint Ziggy compliation at used book store, just what the Dr ordered. Good ole Ziggy, unafraid to say whats on all our minds.
Am I getting old? Swung by my old high school, no tears not even a sniffle. I didn't get out of the car or anything, but I prob could have.
I smile when Seth gives my dragon plushie Smaug a "swirlie". Heres what he doesnt know:Wring out,let dry 45 min, perfect-temperature pillow.
The best part about listening to old CDs is that you're instantly taken back to a time where life was better than it is now *satisfied sigh*
Bad news: Seth sold my vinyl collection to his pot dealer. Good news: Evidently the guy didn't even want the Alphaville, so thats something.
2 hrs wasted at espresso bar, zero convos, zero eye-contacts. Had a great seat, had a Vonnegut w me, dog-eared, lots of pages, yet nothing.
@ICP fan who hit me: my Hey KoolAid joke wasnt a fat joke. You drink punch & call yourselves JUG names. And yes we all could lose a few lbs.
I wonder if you work at the zoo, do you get to hang out w the animals after hours,even spend the night? Dark, quiet, warm,  ample food...
Jen "out sick", not my fitness counselor anymore. Now I have Doug, tan, super friendly, big Erasure fan, good listener.Wants to have dinner!
I buttoned my shirt 1 button wrong/off today & left it that way because if/when someone notices, friend-wise we're already off to the races
Still nursing black eye from Insane Clown Party concert.Are these people allergic to conversation, or was it the Public Enemy shirt, or what
Sometimes I get bummed about all the money I give away to homeless folks to enjoy a couple min of conversation, but it sure beats $3.99/min.
Last nights workout appt w Jen didnt go well. Here's an idea, She-Ra: if you don't like seeing tears, you _could_ avoid the tough questions?
No bites yet on my new biz idea(I swing by to help you w difficult video game levels, bosses etc.) Google adwords = more hype than help, tbh
Gettin stoked for Insane Clown Party concert this week(won tix on radio). Saw some pix online! Finally an excuse to wear my Weird Al shirt
Jen (fitness counselor)is nice and all, but so...feisty? All this running and movement. Cant we just sit and talk? I mean its MY 30 minutes.
Correction: Seth will never let me forget running repeatedly into the wall by the bus station, desperately searching for Platform 93/4
I'll never forget running repeatedly into the wall by the bus station, desperately searching for Platform 93/4 to take me to Hogwart's
met my fitness trainer Jen. Tan, fit, 26, available...never heard of Death Cab For Cutie? Methinks the teacher is abt to become the student?
Got a 24 Hr Fitness acct. Not excited so much about all the exercise as about a weekly hr of quality 1-on-1 time with a "personal counselor"
I wish I'd paid more attention to detail when I'd drawn these childhood pics of Dad. All I really know is he was tall and brown; UPS driver?
Putting final touches on what Seth refers to as "Fagmix 2K10". Sorry Seth, but I'm pretty sure most of these recording artists are straight.
Just saw Titanic; I dunno, what kinda dummy throws a priceless jewel overboard? That thing could prob buy my way right back into Moms heart.
Drats. My favorite elevator haunt now requires a keycard. I really should have figured out that in-car phone number when I had the chance.
Anyone familiar with Dewey Decimal? Trying to find a "Kama Sutra" type book regarding hugging techniques & other forms of PDA, just in case
*sigh* I figure my nuttier(largely unappreciated) jokes will get laughs once I look older/more serious, a la Steve Martin,Leslie Nielsen etc
Honestly finding Seth's insults inspirational. Tell you what, the bullies get their medicine but good in my "Young Dr Strange" screenplay
And the record now stands at 3. S'all good, the best relationships are based on mutual setting of goals
thats 3 straight convos with Lisa that have NOT ended with her calling me a name or just walking away. Is she finally growing up...or am I??
Disappointed no Directors Cut of "One Hour Photo" with extra footage that might paint Robin Williams' character in a more sympathetic light
Found 3 cards for Moms bday (I always send a pack because theres so many things I want to say) "Missing You", "Thank You", "Best Friends"
Just watched Disney's Aladdin, now to spend rest of evening furtively rubbing various action figures and possessions around the apartment
Got a book on body language at library today. Need to improve my posture in close conversations, cant seem to shake this slouchy feeling
I used to consider suicide til I started peeking in neighbors windows at dinnertime. Nightly proof that happiness & love are all around us
my favorite part of "ET" is when the kids are sitting around playing D&D, its just the sort of camaraderie I imagined playing solo as a kid
Ever wake up in the middle of the night and know, just _know_ that someone somewhere out there is talking about you? God it's awesome
Hearin snippets about this Insane Clown Party concert, lots of Faygo? No thx, I'll be bringing my standard CodeRed/SierraMist combo cooler
Score! Just won rap concert tix by being Caller #7 to the college station (and Caller 2, and 5, etc.) Q: What the heck is a juggalo
Just can't get up the energy to change the ceiling bulb in my room. It's been dead since spring but this little bedside lamp is all I need.
If I could turn invisible I don't think I'd ever stop partying. Just find a party crew and frickin rage with them 24/7. I'd probably die.
Memo to old man who almost broke my nose w your cane today @ Safeway: being proud and stubborn won't make that shopping basket any lighter.
Whoa, evidently Edie broke up w Brock?? She says she needs a little space, I can dig it. Gonna wait til this afternoon to make my move
Just found out there was a band called Drivin' N Cryin'? Safe though to assume that "Drivin' N Sighin'" is still fair game?
Wish Google Calendar hadnt been invented.Couple yrs ago I wouldnt have bought that Lisa has no free nights until 2016. Now?*shrug* possible.
Told Seth about Edie encounter/half-hug. Yes, I get it. Edie rhymes with "needy". Uh, if you knew her, you'd know she isn't needy at all.
This body pillow smells like Lisa's next to me, but can't shake guilty feeling I'll never be there for her. Can't believe she threw it out
ehhh after that kiss they must be a couple. Nice wave from Edie. Brook, not so much. Actually more like Brusque, amirite. Game on, buddy
new friend on subway! Her name's Edie, cute and talkative. Holding hands with this skater guy Brook, but these days that could mean anything
Always an insightful game, even these homeless people enjoy so much emotional freedom, you can't help but wonder. Same thing w dogs
playin "Switcheroo" today, where I watch total strangers on the street and think whether my life would be better or worse if I were them.
Swung by TCBY and its like I never worked there. No employee Hall of Fame wall as I suggested? no MixTapeSwap Thursday? No haiku contest?
Remember in ESB when Leias all "I guess you don't understand women" and kisses LUKE? Why dont more girls do things like that in real life?
thinking about writing a selfhelp book, or maybe just a brochure w few tips I've picked up over the years
Got my drivers license renewed, kept the old one. Figure I can give it to some HS senior in exchange for a guest pass to the partee du soir
Almost walked into lamppost today, havin that daydream where crazy/evil madman kidnaps Lisa & I have to beat him at LOTR trivia to save her.
Seth fixed the cable himself again. Yo genius, I break (unplug) it so I can call up a sexy svc rep from CableVision. Frickin cockblocker.
Why dont they make FisherPrice toys for grownups? Am I the only one who imagines being one of these carefree little armless/footless guys?
Q: ever wish they'd invented special headphones that influenced your brainwaves to cheer you up? A: pretend that they already did :)
Seth just caught me playin w my Star Wars toys. Told him I was prepping em for sale on Ebay. Heh, Gullible, party of 1, your table is ready.
Brought out the ole action figures to play Goonies. Rancor Keeper=Chunk, Jawa=Data, Bossk=Brand. Me? Mikey, of course, the dreamer w a plan.
Lisa got all weirded out when I said I liked her new steering wheel cover (saw her car parked in her driveway). Fine, so I didnt like it(?)
I love watching Meteor Showers and imagining that each meteor is one of my dreams burning up. Oh well, they were beautiful flying rocks once
Seth signed me up as a suicide hotline counselor! Something he calls the "Grass Is Always Greener" program. I don't even smoke grass, but ok
Note: nobody else really called him Wedgie, that's just my nickname for him cuz of all the laughs we shared back then
Found another pic of me in sr yearbk! p109 behind soccer team, getting a wedgie from Willy "Wedgie" Phelps. Heh, don't ever change, Wedgie.
*whew* just got two phone calls at same time (Liberty Mutual/Verizon)! Knew I shoulda bought 1 of those Bluetooth headsets w a Hold function
Rejection letter from HS reunion committee. I lack the proper "social skills". Um, for starters, it's an art, not a skill.
Saw Hot Tub Time Machine. Cute, but unrealistic. Sure, they all wanted to go back home sooooo bad. Uh-huh. As the 80s say: gimme a break.
Unashamed 2 disclose that I felt stronger emotional synergy w Wilson the volleyball than boring Hollywood tons-o-friends superstar Tom Hanks
And yes, Seth, I'm aware it would "put people to sleep", its called interactive media.
Heard back from Paramount, evidently The Truman Show was "100% fiction"? Well no duh, did they even read my proposal? Bio? Sample script?
Not sure how to tell her it's just a plain black umbrella I bought at Target and posted on Craigslist with vague details ("found downtown").
Pins & needles! Claire (girl) on her way to pick up her lost umbrella I posted on Craigslist. Goin w neutral tones, AdultSwim T, Portishead.
It turns out that it's a lot easier to keep people who misdialed you on the line by saying as little as possible
Seth says they should make a movie about my dreams and call it Self-Deception instead of Inception? That's great Seth, have another sixpack.
Disappointed to find that 30 Days of Night is some sort of vampire horror movie when tbh a whole month of sleep sounds like heaven on earth
Spent day @ botanical gardens makin friends.Named all the conifers,seasonals, ferns,then had to stop, shoulda brought fr/soph yearbks too.
Little pissed that someone did a Rifftrax for Avatar? Why don't you do Citizen Kane while you're at it, Cap'n F-The-Environment
Way I see it, why would I bother being a standup comedian (my calling) when I can just tell jokes to myself & imagine my friends crackin up?
: frown: Application #4 too be on the	 HS reunion planning committee.Sent this one certified mail, enough w these "Return To Sender" errors.
Hey local access cable channel 47: care to reevaluate yr decision re: my proposed Jamba Juice / Happy Pretzel career crossroads TV special?
no #RealID huh Blizzard? so much for my hopes that people might get to know who I really am
I just wanted to let the city of Cleveland know that I'd be willing to move there, if it would help. They have TCBY there, right?
Lisa says she knows when I'm near because the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Heh, much like me when Ghost In The Shell hit BluRay.
Why do people say that staying in bed all day is a sign of depression? I can't imagine a happier place. Highway to Heaven marathon today.
I like throwing coins into wishing wells & wishing for good things to happen to other people,knowin someone out theres doing the same for me
Feelin more & more these days like one of those kender from Dragonlance: fancy-free,completely fearless,always innocently gettin into mixups
Best part of the 4th is walking around on the 5th, seeing all the used-up fireworks, and thinking about the good times everyone must've had
Tonight I packed myself a bag lunch(dinner), went down to the pier and ate it while imagining I was having a snack before my trip somewhere.
2:23- Exact time to hit &lt;play&gt; so this guitar solo is rockin at the second I pull up to Paula's apt. Hope she didn't catch my trial run(s).
So evidently I'm gonna be paying off my HoldEm debt via blind date w Harry's sister?I'm offering some token resistance, secretly thrilled..
Having a hard time understanding why girls don't like me. I have the looks of Jonah Hill with the personality of Michael Cera. Win/Win?
Why do hostesses always say "Just one?" when you go to a restaurant by yourself. Sorry if my parents aren't always able to join me, jeez.
Tons of world records for NOT sleeping, but none I can see for sleeping. Easy $$, now to round up some sponsors! (Tempurpedic? Aphex Twin?)
Tonight at the mall I walked up the down escalator at Target for like 45 minutes and no one stopped me or even asked if I needed a hand.
Coach Unsmith has a nice ring to it, but the elementary school district has decided again that a Lunch Time Emotional Coach isn't necessary.
I think I like winter better than summer. Almost nobody asks about my trenchcoat when it's cold outside.
Was mopping the kitchen, imagined what if my dad looked like Mr. Clean, now I can't get it out of my head....stern, a good listener.
Thought about starting a band, but you wouldn't believe how difficult it is to get one off the ground when your job is Fan Club President.
self-reminder: most critics and fans alike initially thought of Jack Sparrow as moody, conceited and distant, until they got to know him.
With all due respect, when this Jack Johnson guys sings, "Losing hope is easy...", I don't believe he has any idea what he's talking about.
Spent approx. 30 mins explaining my a loan/alone joke to the pretty girl at the bank. Denied on both fronts, but I got her managers number.
I think the cashier girl at the hardware store is even shyer than I am! She barely made eye contact when I bought my duct tape and icepick.
Oh BTW: laugh it up, Seth & Co. Life isnt poker, and there are any number of social situations where being read like a book is a good thing.
Need to come up w $680 to pay off Hold'Em fiasco. Lets hope 11 seasons of Dr Who on VHS are as valuable to EBay Nation as they were to me...
Hokay, probably a miscalculation to assume that my Carcassonne skillz would seamlessly translate to another strategic venue
Tension already @ HoldEm party. No, its not a 'Fag-o-meter', its a Joy Division 'Unknown Pleasures' T. Learn yourself some post-punk, Jethro
Seth invited me to a Texas Hold Em party tonight w his construction buddies! $150 fee to play, but I'm not one to put a price on friendship.
Irritating when a girl repeatedly mentions she has a BF. Hey Machiavelliana, if you want me to kick his ass or something, you need to ask.
lately been buyin _2_ lg choc/pb Blizzards for dessert.Best case,a (female?) stranger sits for a chat. Worst case, well theyre frakkin good!
Yo thanks for the creepy glance,Kinkos dude.Like I'm the only customer whos ever wanted to laminate a high school yearbook before?:rolleyes:
I'm through procrastinating. Time to take a good hard look at goals and assess which ones are just plain unattainable, and let them go.
My life may not be the best,but statistical probability sez I'll prob reincarnate as an insect?Much less emotional pressure. So theres that.
Geez, "sexxxylexie",$3.99/min? That THEY pay YOU?As someone who used to pay out .50 an IM, I highly doubt you're that much more interesting.
The less I know about my parents & family, the easier it is for me to imagine some Fresh Prince of Bel Air scenario turning my life around
On plus side, per city statute I can greet til the cows come home beyond 75 ft (parking lot, main entrance). Put /that/ in yer pipe, Walmart
Fired from Walmart today...well, told to leave. Wasnt technically "employed", just helpin out as a greeter (Suzy isnt very enthusiastic imo)
That homeless guy selling hugs raised his prices, again. I asked him if he had any plans of extending his hours and he just laughed
6/1, no invite from Camp Watonka to return as counselor? I can get needing to have a convo after last year, but still. Pretty cold, Watonka.
There should be a Chat Roulettefeature where two interesting people cam it up, while I can just be a fly on the wall - less boring for all
If I ever have kids I'll let them camp out on the front porch any/every night they want, except unlike my parents I'll make it a _choice_.
The local library needs to start carrying more current Self Help titles - just had another "How To Pull Broads" fiasco.
Look Census Bureau, you can't avoid me forever. You know and I know I didn't send my mailer back. Let's just hang out for awhile, ok?
Why I prefer playing Scrabble by myself: 1) no pressure 2) dictionary peeks allowed, Google searches allowed 3) good "teamwork" feeling
Anise is missing; Seth left door open again. 4th kitty lost in last year.! :( Good chance theyre all together tho, in some fun kitty place.
Not too happy with my positioning in this year's phone book - thinking of purchasing some ads in the White Pages
Don't forget to call your Mother today! I find it works best to call from pay phones with different area codes to get around call screening
You know, even if Potions of Charisma (say +3, +4) were real, and even if I had one, I don't think I'd drink it, certainly not all at once
Easter candy 75% off at Walgreens! If you bite off the bunny ears they look like Teletubbies. Gonna eat some candy and write some poetry :)
Thinking abt putting a few of my mixes on cassette tape. Ever since Lisa refused my mix by saying, "I don't like CDs", I've been stumped.
I'd sure like to see them build a new hospital close by.The 3 I frequest now say they're "sick of my act" (read: diagnostically challenged).
Had a pretty good chat with Thanh (cashier at corner mart). Gave him my # in case he ever wants to hang, or wants English lessons, whatever.
Great news! Old boss offered Peace Corps training by volunteering my time at the old TCBY "pro bono". Can't wait to really make a difference
Worried that I'm going to wear out this Snuggie before the crucial 6 month Security Blankie Break In, and I haven't even washed it yet
I think I could be a great lead singer w the right mic, but my style (barely audible whisper) makes it hard to tell where I'm at pitch-wise.
Seth thinks it's "retarded" to put my fluency in Na'Vi on job applications. That's right, Seth. I speak more languages, yet I'm the retard.
Got a Skype IM today! From some sort of doctor/online pharmacist. Not much of a talker, but it's the thought that counts.
Lets make a deal, Verizon: You stop changing Sara Haskin's # on me, I'll stop calling you up pretending to be a family member who lost her #
Spent afternoon trackin down all the eggs I hid around the mall last Easter for me to find this Easter. (potted plant beds ftw)
got up this a.m., Lisa was over havin breakfast w Seth. Didnt know they were that good friends, her just spontaneously stoppin by like that.
only $2.50 to go and I'll have filled up the little March of Dimes donation poster at the 7-Eleven checkout counter all by myself
I appreciate how a lot of girls call me up today for dinner and a movie. I know it's always a prank, but at least they remembered me
just skimmed this dating how-to book @ B&N, gotta say I'm confused. Why the hell wouldn't you call her the next morning? And every morning?
workin on outline/1st draft of my autobiography (work in progress). Disappointed to learn that the title "Home Alone" is in fact copyrighted
getting tired of paying my roommate's phone bill. All these 1-900 calls (? is that Canada?) Oh well, it's cool that he's got so many friends
Youre right, Best Buy dude. A "Heroes of Cyberpunk" case mod (Deckard, Case, Hiro, et al in silhouette) is retarded. Or perhaps you are? Hmm
Lisa called! She wanted to talk to Seth, but she totally recognized my voice after I told her who I was.
Wootah,another volunteer shift @ the coma ward tonight.Finished my Palahniuk readaloud marathon on Wed...Back to ole Kafka I guess
I love Spencer's Gifts. I like going in there and seeing some of the crazy gifts couples can give each other, and just imagining the scene
Spent today workin for TCBY handing out buy-1-get-1-free coupons in the mall parking lot. No pay, but worth it to reconnect w the posse
speakin of candy, found that candy ValDay heart from Sara Haskins (5th grade) under bed. "CRAZY 4 U"...writing's pretty faded, darn tinfoil
I wonder if this Health Care Reform means they'll hire more candy stripers on the coma ward. Maybe a girl? There's no candy though.
apparently there's a Tea Party this Friday down at the park. finally, another chance to make friends & show off my stuffed animals
I doubt Revenge of the Nerds would have happened w me around as I'd prob have acted as a unifying bridge between the two social groups.
I like going to City College to have lunch on steps of this lecture hall. When class gets out, I'm surrounded by students, smilin, laughin.
How can you spend "too much time" thinking about potential uses for thermoptic camo?  - What I should have said to my mom's bf.
Comic store not hiring. Owner says no job for me for "12 years." Um, sprechen sie optimism? Hablo los economic recovery, Grumpalumpagus?
not wearing green today in the hopes that girls hit on me
Gearing up for a trip to NBC Studios. Appointment, schmappointment: pretty sure all the great talk show hosts got there by just goin' for it
Caught myself imagining having a GF over for Sun pancakes, asked "her" for measuring cup (out loud).  Cooking solo is more practical anyway,
Operation Extrovert, Phase I [COMPLETED]!: Went for walk, made twenty friends. 17 were passing motorists (this phase is all abt eye contact)
So coffee milk has been done? Oh well, back to my Wrath of Khan commemorative chess set idea (ugh, Khan's hair looks so fake in blue clay)
Idea:coffee-flavored chocolate milk. Avail in flavors (mocha, vanilla, hazelnut, etc) Hell, make it an energy drink! Gonna run w this one...
Thought about giving MTV a ring, decided I better pass; gonna assume they don't want any piece of a world this Real.
Wonder how much weight I'd have to gain to be a guest on Oprah? I'd settle for Tyra but I see her as more of an "After Dark" self help show
Job fair? Hmmm, you tell me what's so "fair" about them getting to sit in booths while I have to walk around. Maybe they rent those carts.
So... apparently airport security doesn't like it when you hang around outside the arrival gates when you aren't really waiting for someone?
Wish Dad could offer job advice. He's a jetset bizexec type; why else would he be spending the last 16 years on (per Mom) "business travel"?
Didn't realize Street Advertisers get paid so little to spin those arrows. Might hire one to help get the word out about my birthday
Jobsearch 2K10 starts today. Any recommendations for a good CRM, preferably one that comes preloaded w good contacts to get me started?
Aaah I smuggled Linus (my stuffed penguin) into work last wk & left him stuffed inside Lisa's parka sleeve all shift, now he smells like her
tried to work on my Lego stopmotion "A Day at TCBY" video project but the passion is gone. Plus I can't find Tyrone's head (w the mustache).
Seth got hired @TCBY (heard from 3 folks there was an opening) Bonus: I'll be takin him to/from Tue/Thu/Fri so I still get to see the gang
#TCBY got escorted out of mall after getting caught autographing back of smoothie machine. They'll thank me when that becomes a tradition.
#TCBY Fired?! For gettin locked in store all Thurs nite. Eff immed...Oh well, when one door closes, another opens(somewhere in the universe)
whoa, got called into work, meeting w regional mgr...  poss promotion? Wearing propeller beanie for good luck (p sure hes a MontyPython fan)
#TCBY pretty sleepless night...fell asleep in back room @ TCBY, crew closed up w/o me? Had to lie still all night to avoid setting off alarm
I dont even need a new car but I love shopping for one because the sales ppl seem genuinely interested in me. No numbers,but Handshake City!
found my old cassette tapes. Man. Play, rewind, play, rewind, play, rewind. I dont know how ppl ever managed to work up a good cry back then
Wearin my good jacket tonite, the 1 w the lapels. I was wearing this jacket last time I felt true love! Seems to have shrunk a bit since(?)
p excited about open mic 2nite.. workin on spike's monologue from cowboy bebop about gaming alone w/out bursting into tears *fingers xed*
overheard lisa talkin on her celly about open mic at the coffee shop nxt to tcby. this could be my chance 2 show what a sensitive guy i am!
They're having sex upstairs. I can hear the mattress. Doesnt sound like angry sex. Thats a good sign (pretty sure they were arguing earlier)
Thinking about moving to Beijing (pop. 17,000,000). Since I'm looking for that one-in-a-million GF, why not go where there's 17 of them?
Thanks for posting the #firstdaterules. I am collating them into a database. Once I get it debugged and tested I'll be on my way.
Swing & a miss tonite @ Safeway! Her: blond, IPhone, Blur T, irritable for no reason? Evidently "Self Checkout" means "By Yourself Checkout"
Bring it, world. Thought up some great comebacks last nite. Still p vulnerable emotionally but if they go after weight/hair,its ownage time.
Beth's here! :heart: god I think Beths so great. She doesn't remember me at all (met her 5 times *shrug*) but still, she's at this party!
Got a bunch of V-D choc you ended up keeping 4 yourself? fyi you can melt it into a huge yummy chunk & freeze it (still workin on last yrs)
my fave part in Jurassic Park is the very end when they're in the helicopter and Dr Grant's hugging those kids. That must feel great.
for some reason, no one seems interested in Flash Mobbing my therapy sessions
normally i wouldnt root around in the work trash, but it seems like a waste to not frame such nice valentines day cards
At bookstore, tried to get these kids to play Where the Wild Things Are with me aaaaand I think one of em stole my phone. WIld child indeed
Seth says she has trouble confronting her feelings. Sounds reasonable, but explain why that kind of insecurity is so hilarious, Sethster.
#TCBY Closed up solo (again) because Lisa went home sick (again). Checked the schedule, she's done this, count em, 17 weekends in a row.
I used to watch Patch Adams regularly cuz when I saw it in the theater a girl 2 seats over smiled at me. Now it's just part of the routine.
why does every florist in the area think that i'm prank calling them?
lately I've been closing my eyes & picking a random ringtone, so when a cellphone rings in the back room at work, it could very well be mine
Hey Mom, just b/c you find me more of a "wuss" than Seth doesnt mean you have to tell me so. P.S. it's pronounced BA-ku-GAN, not ba-KOO-gin.
when did homeless people become such a-holes? Newsflash: you weren't selling any of these stupid newsletters BEFORE I started helping,either
#TCBY has a strawberry vanilla swirl special just for Valentine's Day. I want to try it so I hope nobody fights me for night shift that day.
Superbowl was pretty fun to watch, even if the crowds all sounded like they were jeering @ the players all game? Evidently that's a me thing
come to think of it, I don't think that I've ever sung for anyone but myself - which is weird because I fancy myself quite the rapper!
#TCBY new guy working at GameStop not very talkative, or nice. Faking a phone call to get out of talking to me? Welcome to the neighborhood.
put all of my anti anxiety & anti depression pills into an advent calendar that's counting down to Valentine's Day
Every time I see hackysackers, they seem so happy, with this easy camaraderie. I've been practicing at home in my room w a rolled-up sock.
I'd love a job selling expensive jewelry, or maybe sports cars. Just for a day so I can know what it is to have something someone else wants
I try to get stoked when one of my dreams is shot down in flames because I know probability-wise another dream will someday take it's place
i kinda wanna get in on this Facebook celebrity lookalike thing but having some trouble finding a flattering pic of a young Raul Julia
well, Mr fascist funeral home rentacop w your fancy nametag, since you ask: yes I WAS close w the deceased. She copied off me in pre-calc.
NBA player I most identified w used to be Charles "The Round Mound of Rebound" Barkley, til I found out today that rebound is sports jargon.
#TCBY okay I'm just taking the day off, some people (coworkers) are so easily amused by the most sophomoric things.
#TCBY Tyrone just asked if I was into heroine. Hellyeah I am. I mean who HASNT read The Mists of Avalon? (answer: Tyrone!)
I don't even enjoy smoking cigarettes, I just do it for that delicious nostalgic twinge of peer pressure
tick tock, I better find 18 potential GFs to send flowers/chocolate packages to for Valentines...don't regret buying the economy pack though
the best tears are the ones where there really isn't a reason.They just come and feel so cathartic but at the same time, you're like, "huh?"
People are eventually going to ask me "What was your favorite thing about Liz?" Well, she treated me like a real person.
Bad news: No repeat dream about Liz. Good news: I woke up really missing her, as if she stayed here late playing WoW and left around 1 am.
i wonder if using the force to get hugs would be lead a lonely jedi to the dark side. size matters not...
#TCBY Tyrone just told me to shut the **** up about Liz. He must be sick of hearing the prom story over & over again. *sigh Love that story.
Saw a cutey at McD's. Didn't talk to her but did sip her soda when she got up. She came back and threw it away. Backwash influence: unknown.
VIVID dream about a highschool GF I swear it felt real. Liz, huge Pixies fan. So many details, might as well be real. Treatin it as if real.
actually (per note on the tape) it wasnt my dad, it was Mr. Fisk from next door. Plus he swears at me at one point, which my dad wouldnt do.
found old cam tape from when I was 5 or 6, chasin bubbles blown by my dad. So cool to know that such happiness is possible when youre young.
#TCBY some joker wrote "S PLATH" on my nametag in Sharpie. I figure they meant "S PLASH" (humorous reference to my Mr Pibb spill last week)
No callback from JK Rowling re: Silmarillionish prequel idea. (might not even be her, but srsly how many J Rowlings can there be in NYC?)
Held a girl's hand and talked for over an hour today. Volunteering as a candy striper on the coma ward was really a great idea.
Lisa has this new game at work where she slaps me in the face. She say it turns her on, but man, it hurts! Oh well, anything for the ladies.
#TCBY spread a lil MLK awareness today by humming U2s "Pride (In the Name of Love)" at the register all day. Pretty sure most folks "got it"
God what I wouldn't give to be able  to bust out that "I'm rubber you're glue" line w a little more conviction. Keep gettin it backwards,too
#TCBY stuck cleaning both bathrooms; Lisa says I'm better at it than her. Prob just likes listening to me get my Maynard Keenan on in there
#TCBY cashiering is like 10x easier if I just close my eyes and imagine myself on the Pelennor Fields, Theoden's voice ringing in my ears
Re-reading the Dragonlance Chronicles (annotated edition, natch) has inspired me to write my own novel, The Chronicle of Squire Thims
went to movies w Lisa tonight...not together, I was 4 rows back, but she let me pay for her Sno-Caps. We laughed at most of the same jokes.
hey-heyyyy, found one of my mix CDs on bench by bus stop. "F.A.G." written on it w Sharpie?....presumably code for "Frickin Awesome Groove"
someone stole my backpack! Had all my "Here's me!" mix CDs in it. Maybe zipper's open, mix CDs spilling out the back for strangers to find.
part of me wants to be gay for just, like, a month so I can stop disappointing people who ask me if I'm gay. (I'd change back, of course)
I love it when some crazy (no reason?!?) tears come bubbling up and you just push them right back down again. That's control, people.
Why does everyone keep asking me if I fell asleep with my Itunes running on repeat? I just really like Scorpions - Wind of Change.
Got props on my Twitter. Honored, til he said it was "really funny." Mixed up with someone else? Still let him buy me a waffle cone sundae.
I don't know who keeps renewing my subsciption to the Dell product catalog. Ive asked everyone @work,get knowing smiles but no one fesses up
think Seth's stealing $ again but cant prove it. Besides how could he guess that my favorite Doctor Octopus figurine doubles as a coin safe?
Quit the volunteer gig reading to kids at local library, Tales of Fourth-Grade Nothing hittin lil too close to home. Gee thanks, Judy Blume.
Swung by the ole highschoolroony & wound up spendin all day in the lib w some juniors. Got a couple weird looks, mustve been the Mastodon T.
Got yelled at by mortage refi guy when after 35min phone convo he learned Im not a homeowner. Sue me for enjoying a lil casual conversation?
The bridge phones are out of order, again.
johnson's baby shampoo isn't doing anything for my uncontrollable sobbing in the shower but the four curtains muffles it pretty well im told
would it kill Friendster to put "we dont guarantee you'll actually make friends" in their Ts&Cs? Jill in cust svc claims its implied. Uhhuh.
something wrong w the world when Tim Burton is working on some stupid Alice movie and my Edward Scissorhands 2 script rots in a binder
Finally saw a shrink. She lives across from me & I have a good view of her window. Not sure she's a shrink, but she has one of those sofas.
Okay... Only 6 weeks until Valentine's Day. Plenty of time. Should order some chocolates and flowers ahead of time for motivation.
#TCBY everyone here seems to find it hilarious that the US is trying to close down Guatemala. "Get glasses?" My eyes are wide open, thanks.
Things got a little weird/tense today in the Starbucks drivethru. Guess I'll have to start actually ordering drinks again.
Barnes & Noble won't accept magazine returns! Told em I already read this one! Manager finally said take any mag and get out. Well scuse me!
all the New Years resolutions I think up seem ridiculous and far-fetched so I'm just going to focus on maintaining the already attained
Made a dozen cookies for the parents for New Year's. Ate them on the drive over. Good thing, though, they weren't home anyway.
I would deal with the headache and stress that comes w owning a Ring of Power if it meant having eight reliable friends I could count on
Thinking abt taking up "tagging". Cheap, fun, bet you meet cool ppl. Gonna practice on bedroom door. Look out world, here comes "Gr!ff!ndor"
OK, mostly me laughing, but her eyes def sparkled w laughter...Currently chillin by employee parking lot, playing a lil Tetris. Fingers: Xed
had a good laugh w the concessions girl (pretty!) at movie theater (Avatar, 4th time). Me: "Like there's such a thing as too much butter!"
had such an AWESOME dream last night. Cant remember all the details, which is odd since I wasn't really sleeping, just lying awake thinking.
kind of wish I could afford a "scream apartment"..a place where you can just go and scream & scream without repercussions from the neighbors
ever have an imaginary conversation with a girlfriend about space travel and then realize you're talking out loud? Heh, me neither *wink*
still cant believe I basically slept right thru Christmas. Didn't even sleep much, just lay there daydreaming (about the perfect Christmas)
playin Santa to myself again (Lego BattleDroid Cruiser). Not sure if I'll wrap and address to myself this year tho (yeah right, I always do)
Want to show Lisa I care, but what's the best idea for a gift? Thinking a little selection from El Farmo de la Pepperidge...too forward?
Wonder if I could get a gig getting my pic taken for the stock photos that come in the picture frames. Those people seem pretty easy-going.
Took lunch out in the parking lot.Chilly, but worth it to see all those happy families headin home from the mall. Scored a couple handwaves
Eight new cards today! All for previous tenants (Doug/Linda Frome), but I've seen so much of their mail at this point I'm basically family
The mantel is filling up quick w cards this year (Im counting holiday subscription renewal cards from magazines IF they're festively themed)
Tried a "Chance Encounters" post today."You: lithe brunette getting on bus Mon or Tues morning. Me: handsome, just missed you, want to talk"
(to be honest it wasnt on cable. I saw it in the theatre when it came out and have been fantasizing about that scenario off & on ever since)
Just saw Face/Off on cable...ehh if that were me Id probably just enjoy the other guys good times & buddies, not be so wound up about it all
If I set up a fake TCBY robbery so I could "stop" the robber & be the hero, but they found out it was fake, would I get fired? No harm/foul?
Hoping I get a good calendar for XMas. Honestly I'd take a good 2009 one (Family Guy?), suuupercheap and usually come with Jan-Apr 2010.
#TCBY I called Lisa "babe" like four times today and she didn't notice or say a word. The best intimacy is the kind that sneaks up on you
So evidently theres some magic rule that says you cant just hang out all day in Ikea makin friends. Didn't know the Dutch invented fascism.
I sneak a peanut M&M into every yogurt I make for a girl. A little treat to help them remember me. Also, what does anaphylaxis mean?
Another buddy hug, another bloody nose for my trouble. No prob, Mr. TowTruck Lockout Svcs Guy. You're still one of the good guys in my book.
This site also has a place for anonymous love letters and it's pretty surprising how many people share my first name. Or do they...?
Just readin how many girls choose not 2 share their feelings w the guy they secretly love because they feel vulnerable? Hm, tres interessant
I just got a Facebook friend request! It's from DiGiornos Pizza. Makes sense, after all they're right across the food court
Bummer, all volunteer slots full at the giftwrap station by the info kiosk. Well ok,not full, but not lettin me join the team? Not sure why?
#TCBY So Lisa has a new IPod (its mine, thought I'd lost it). Do I say something, or just be glad she's finally giving Nintendocore a listen
My therapist says if he gets a new couch I can buy the old one. Think how awesome that would be, be that comfy/secure in my own living room
Just cant seem to stop eating today. Its like I'm trying to fill a hole in me, yet at the same time I've never felt so complete.
YES! I finally got a girl's number! It was written on a bar napkin. I found it between the couch cushions when I turned over last night.
Seth got a dog and he really likes my bed. No cuddling though, he's made that pretty clear. No problem, big guy, the couch is tres comfy.
dreamt last nite Doc Brown came by & picked me up in his DeLorean, rode around visiting different times, he kept rufflin my hair w affection
I wish I could simultaneously be a Sim yet play me in the game, and just switch back n forth between whichever one of me was having more fun
my cat ran away again. Thats 3rd one this year! Gotta assume theres some great cat place nearby, maybe an owner w girl cats? or just a girl.
Oh... They're out of coffeemate.
I guess I'll give up looking for a soul mate at the grocery store and just start looking for some coffeemate.
I wish Brandon hadnt joked about me spewing out all that CO2 & doing so much global warming, since his "joke" I cant seem to breathe regular
Lisa said shed go out w me New Years if she got desperate. Gonna crank OMD's "If You Leave" all wk, that songs a desperate-miracle machine!
management sprung for the *nice* toilet seat covers! looks like this will be a december to remember
Idea: new reasonably-priced cologne is "regular-guy" smell, like me mid-afternoon, kinda. Calvin Klein's Proletariat: For The Rest of Us.
I have 8 identical writing journals here on the shelf yet havent written a word in any of them. Seeing em on the shelf is pretty inspiring
waitasec, these are Seth's pants. Well that explains that. feels good to know that by me doin his laundry hes free to have fun out there
doin laundry today, HUGE grass stain on knee of my pants. what the *h* was I doing to have such a crazyfun time? mustve been high on life
lately I've been having TCBY White Chocolate Mousse w maple syrup & cherry syrup for breakfast lunch and dinner. Prob fattening but so good.
Mr Burt (8th gr math teacher) came into TCBY today, said I turned out about how he expected. Nice to meet someones expectations for a change
just when I was getting a little tired of working at TCBY I go on a vacation and now its like a brand new workplace w brand new challenges
Just got home and my place was robbed over Thankgiving! Oh well, at least they didn't steal any of Seth's stuff, just mine.
On the plus side, this airplane seat is way more comfy than the backseat of Grandma's Chrysler LeBaron I had to sleep in last night
Tryin not to stress that Mom didn't recognize me...for one thing, she was clearly intoxicated. For another, I've lost like 15 pounds.
oh no...lil 2 much Jack daniels, told my great grandma, "your generation's gonna die unloved", how do I take this back?!?
sitting at the lil kids table and frankly these guys are a little more open to against-the-grain political opinions.
Just showed up at Grandmas unannounced. Initial thoughts: must be Thanksgiving 'cause it sure ain't Thanksgetting.
also, you don't have to embrace Grizzly Bear as the greatest band in history, but would it kill you to listen a little and pretend they are?
the more I subtly remind this elderly man next to me that its supposed to be the "friendly skies", the less friendly he seems to be
the security patdown at the flight terminal reminded me of that hug I got nine months ago
ok, convo topics for the flight: weather. healthcare(!). bumpy flight. what's that smell? (even if there isnt one, just makin small talk)
irritating that they wont let me speak to the pilot or even tell me anything about him/her, but I'm learning to embrace the unexpected
Just got back from airport, dry run for tomorrows flight to Des Moines
Lately when I see a happy couple on the street I sometimes go up & congratulate them. but fyi a hug = too much. A warm handshake is better.
couldn't sleep last night, too excited about Thanksgiving. The more LemonHeads I eat, the happier I seem to get. My teeth are throbbing
ate at Olive Garden 2nite, big family reunion at table next to mine! ...before I knew it, I was laughin/jokin right along with the "??????"s
Been reliving a 7-11 cashier experience for like the last 2 hrs. Linda? Laura? Either she was on coke or there was a spark. Takin door #2
Sometimes when I enter TCBY I imagine those laser-eye statues from Neverending Story that measure your self-worth. Havent been zapped once
Just realized I'm 90 minutes late for work because I've been daydreaming like mad about this ark. It's round, w my room in the middle.
Daydream du jour: 2012, world ending, I own an ark, everybody cool piles on board, and in the process they learn I'm pretty cool after all
got a card from a girl i liked in highschool not 2 weeks after i made my fbook status 'nobody remembered my birthday..again' spoke too soon!
I think I'm haunted by a friendly spirit...things not where I left them, and when I close my eyes and "reach out", I feel "good vibes"
Brandon told me I'm like a walking conversational Koboyashi Maru? Nice try, Brandon, I speak 3 Klingon dialects and that makes -zero- sense.
Seth not going to Gmas for Tgiving so hes giving me the plane ticket! Only made me pay $450 for it but apparently I get to ride in a coach?
Seth got invited to family Thanksgiving in Des Moines, but not me? Getting pretty tired of this blind eye to Gramma's Alzheimers
When you're buying goodies at the bakery and the girl working there asks if you'd like a cup of coffee, apparently she isn't asking you out?
I wonder how many folks have been mislabelled as crossdressers just cuz they were caught hugging themselves wearing a girls coat.
ever intentionally run w scissors privately praying for a terrible accident,tons of attention,and a trip to the ER? Yeah me neither
#TCBY My performance review accuses me of setting low self-expectations, then being pleased when I fulfill them.. Low blow, TCBY
Today I drove past the arcade where I would get beat up by bullies pretty much every week. But those days are gone, for better or for worse.
Ironic that I cant get "Dont Stand So Close To Me" out of my head when more than anything in this life I want people to stand close to me
current fave fantasy: a version of The Amazing Race where teams battle the clock and risk it all to find me
You know who was a really good movie gf, Rosie Cotton from LOTR (Lord of the Ring). Patient,loving,sees past a lil fat to the man inside
part of me hates the flaking dry skin between my toes but a larger part loves it, just cruising MySpace pages and pickin, scrapin, pickin
I wish it wasnt considered creepy to hang out with 15-16 year olds because lately they seem to be the only ones who like listening to me
I've seen my dad twice today! Or at least, 2 dad-lookin guys who look like my dad looks in my dreams. One of em smiled back :)
Well, with this whole Fort Hood thing, I'm feeling a little bit better about that army recruiter laughing when I showed up in his office.
I was thinking about learning how to play a musical instrument. Then I remembered that John Cusack got a girl just by holding up a boombox.
Matt says he knows a guy who gets laid a lot by faking tears ("sympathy pussy"). It is suddenly very important that I meet this man.
Someone stole ALL my HW candy! Seth? Nah my bro wouldnt do me like that. Also hes been smoking so much pot lately, prob too lazy.
Seth is pretty cool, told me straightup he banged Lisa last night even tho he knows I love her. Some big brothers wouldnt be honest abt it.
#TCBY everyone thinks I'm dressed as Marilyn Manson. Um, carrying 2 scimitars? Maybe learn yourself some Drizzt Do'Urden, folks
Halloweens def a fave holiday because if I strike up a convo w a stranger and it doesnt go well, switch masks, wait 15-20 min, try again
I dont want the power to take back things I've said,I would settle for the power to have the same doomed conversations over & over again
accidentally mentioned my collection of hospital wristbands in the breakroom yesterday, covered it up with a Joy Division joke *whew
ok, feelin a little silly. You tell me: thinking theyre called Food Fighters isnt illogical, is it? I mean,foo is baby talk
#TCBY Carla (works at Pacific Sunwwer) asked me if I was gay today. Maybe her eyes lit up when I said no (she was wearing shades)
hellll yes I have a sniffle. Drs office, here we come. I loves me some free Jolly Ranchers and captive-audience receptionist chitchat
ever since Mom got caller ID she wont answer my calls(?) heh so Ive been calling from coworkers' cells just to keep her guessing
ok, would it be weird to go to 10-yr HS reunion of the class 5 yrs younger than me? Couple ex-gf's I cant get out of my head.
Got a Voice Mail this week! Was a confused woman with the wrong number, informing about her HIV. One problem I don't have to worry about!
just scored *drumroll* Facebook friend #20!...gonna assume the next 20 won't take a year, bankin' on a social "snowball effect"?
rode metro tonight, found myself wishing that it would just go on forever, never stop. Then realized I was talking out loud. no one noticed.
#TCBY girls at work have started calling me "Rockwell"...not sure I get it, but nicknames are a pretty good sign we're connecting
#TCBY Cara told me yesterday I make better soft-serve cones than I make conversation. *shrug* it's all in the cone rotation, Cara.
bought some used jeans @ Goodwill, didn't realize they had huge grass stain on the butt! hopefully I can cash in on some of those good times
Lost my wallet last night. Sucks I cashed my paycheck, but I think of what a good day that thief is prob having and, well, there's that.
I love Fridays because if I wake up and just cant face this life, I can just stay in bed and eat SmartFood, because hey, it's Friday
whoa, 2nd time this week a girl's blown me a kiss but turned out it was to some guy behind me. Oh well, guess I'm surrounded by love
I used to be able to close my eyes & just disengage, actually imagine myself flying peacefully. I cant anymore. Ehh, probably for the best.
#igottacrushon AND #igotacrushon are trending topics??? Way I figure it, my odds just increased by 100 percent!
So balloonboy was a hoax? Hmm I think back to getting left behind at Nordstroms at age 6 and smile at Mom's sophistication.
thought I saw childhood friend on bus. rode to his stop (90 min!) but couldnt think of anything to say. Ive convinced myself it wasnt him.
Lisa gave me a fake "winning" lottery ticket. Scratched it, got so excited!!...just a hoax. Still, nice to know I can make a girl laugh
Considering taking all archived rejection letters,crafting into painted papier-mache teardrop. But I just know I'd want to read em all again
gotta empathize w #Balloonboy.Did same thing when I was a kid, except box was in the basement and there was no balloon, just a girl
Wow. I got caught up in the whole Balloon Boy drama. I wish I was a boy in a balloon, sailing high above the world away from this place...
Sometimes I wish I wasn't balding so badly. I'd like to spend a little more time in the shampoo chair when I get my hair cut.
Paranormal activity? Heck, ANY activity in my bedroom would be beyond the norm! Ha, I'm kidding, I have a PS2 and a Gamecube in there.
#TCBY is sending me for training on the new yogurt dispensers. Got to the airport 5 hours early. You never know who you might meet.
#TCBY slow morning, I hate it because my mind wanders and I feel the tears lurking, then we get a lil rush of customers and the pain recedes
spent 1 hr 45 m checking every.Single.Shop @ the mall for this nice girl who said she worked @ the mall! Then realized she might be off!
there should be an IM abbrev "pwbb" (prob won't be back) instead of "brb". ppl would be much more accurate/honest w me if they used pwbb
spent 90 min in line at DMV today. latino guy in front of me wearing Ghost In the Shell tee but had never seen it? was a jerk about it, too
What's so sad about emo's last beer? get to be more sad and drink less beer, that's an A+ to me (i'll stick to the gingey ale, thanks)
I'm sure I'm mssing something but depending on if your cellmate was a good conversationalist, honestly sometimes prison doesnt sound too bad
the only way I can get on the air on the local FM talkshow is if I call from payphone or someone else's cell, I must ask the tough questions
Calling 311 is great because the operators can't yell at you for tying up emergency services, but they certainly don't like to chit chat
#TCBY Tyrone suggested I quit & be 1 of those latenite AM radio talk guys who just talks alone for hours. Thats only, like, my dreamjob, T!
(On the other hand, that's why we buy three yearbooks, right?)
I'm a little surprised there isn't an Ask.com tutorial on taping photos back into a yearbook after you cut them out on a silly whim.
(black) cust threw fit b/c I apologized for the crimes of all whites. I get you're a Republican but isnt thats what comment cards are for?
Update: Seth bought the oregano bag for $6. Tried to tell him its cheaper @ Trader Joes but he says he likes it really fresh so win-win :)
never mind, Seth says its oregano. Oh well, one less ingredient needed for my Terry Gilliam pizza party (pending sched date)
I just bought a bag of marijuana from this guy just to make his day (slow sales). $80 for an eighth(?fair?) now wtheck do I do w this stuff?
I'm like a mix of all four Seinfeld characters, minus the whole "got three friends" angle. don't need em; I think of myself as a gift pack
*phew* I thought Publisher's Clearing House had given up on me but they've just moved to an online format. "Don't Stop Believin'" - Journey
Eric told me today the world would be a better place w/o me.Tryin to get me riled but cmon Eric;we both know things would be p much the same
maybe i could get a girl to have sex w/ me if she was convinced the world was going to end in 2012
Lisa just said I remind everybody of Charlie Brown? Well, I don't carry around a blanket, nor do I have a big sister, check your facts Lisa?
someone finally explained life insurance to me. I get how it works now but I guess I don't see who would benefit?
DREAM:at party, girl talking about album, I traveled back in time&learned all about it, came back to impress her, shes gone! Still, cool huh
wtf, new postal policy? Will NOT accept pkgs I set up to mail to me in Mar 2010 for my birthday as surprise anonymous gifts. Et tu, Barack!
part of me wants to try being deaf for just like a week, just to see if the amount of "awkward" silences in my daily life goes up or down
woke up w mouthful of blood! Bit my tongue so hard in my sleep, just GUSHING blood. i love those dreams where its like youre right there.
The best thing about Costco are the free sample tables, it's like the speed dating of having friends over for dinner
Also, do these game shows give out T-shirts if you go on them? Cause if I won I'd need something to wear on the beach and in the ocean.
Wondering if I went on a game show and won a trip for two to Cancun or someplace like that, you think they'd just let me go twice by myself?
I put the employee directory into my cell's contacts list. Now I just scroll up & down supafast, pretend I just cant decide who to hang with
I guess the fact that some people get married multiple times means other people never will. It all balances out, in the big picture.
Wish Facebook would show me "everybody"s updates. Dont need to know who you are, just the sorts of fun things everyone is up to out there..
Welp, I told myself I wasn't going to do it this year, but I already let slip that I had a girlfriend who died in 9/11...People are so nice.
Best thing about public restrooms is they toughen you up; you can be bawling one second and then instantly clam up when someone enters
I planned on just going by the store, but I've been walking for hours, debating the ethical dilemma of the take a penny leave a penny tray.
putting the final touches on my proposal for Wizards of the Coast. 5th Ed. Solo Campaign. Slogan: "You got the time, we got the modules"
Apparently the only thing vendors at the "swap meet" want to swap with is cash. Well, at least my hand crafted figurines got some exposure.
i know "the early bird gets the worm" but lets just say that my idea for www.adultfriendfinder.com was a little bit different from theirs?
Splurge alert! Just bought 7 4-packs of B&J Fuzzy Navel winecoolers. These things NEVER go on sale! (not for me, I hear the ladies love em)
wondering if anyone's ever turned their apartment into a Ronald McDonald house. You know, for lonely/deprived kids to come and hang out.
Been hearing some news; guess I've been pronouncing 'succeed' wrong. But I think Texas should be allowed to succeed. Everyone should be.
Not sweating getting rejected (and kinda insulted?) by Amber, I figured that my misfortune is best viewed as some other guys lucky day.
Fire in my apt building today! Slept right through the alarm, my brother Seth didn't wake me up(?) he mustve known it was on another floor.
Making Asst Manager at TCBY would be a big step forward for me. At that level I bet the health care covers prescriptions and counseling.
Awesome, Google Mail is finally out of beta! Now I can stop begging people at work for an invite!
Jim worked at TCBY til he snuck in at nite & ate all the toppings & passed out on the floor. One morning they will find me on the floor too.
TCBYToday: pseudo-jerk skater kid spills a XL rasp smoothie on purpose and leers at me. Joke's on you, kid: I happen to like my job.
I knew Patty for 5 years and didn't know she was a lesbian til I asked her out yesterday. I guess that's why she has a lot of guy friends!
Well it doesnt look like the homeless will be hanging out anytime soon, they did give me some valuable feedback on which Fancy Feasts to get
Note: part of this idea comes from my guilt that by picking Panda Express I am insulting Wok Bowl, and I consider both vendors my friends
IDEA: All-you-can-eat food court. I'm talking Sbarros, Taco Time, the whole shebang. $24.99 fair? Profitable for them, delicious for me
Stoked for DMV appt tomorrow. Americas melting pot. Interesting person on my L, interesting person on my R. Cars, lines = great convo fodder
the bad news: My bike got stolen. the good news: they left the lock (titanium alloy!) Guess there's still honor among thieves
It turns out the local homeless have taken a shining to the cat food I leave out every night for stray cats. Maybe I could invite them in?
New Army recruiters office opening @ Fairview Mall! Nice, espec since the old one won't interview me anymore, won't even return my calls?
Can you believe there isnt a They Might Be Giants boxset? They have like eighty albums! gonna make my own 4-CD mix boxset, take that, "TMBG"
There was a really pretty lady at Starbucks this morning. I ordered the same drink as her boyfriend. Now I wait.
I really hope that I'm someone's #twittercrush. I don't know cause I don't really follow people after Lisa told me it can creep them out.
Had a great date last night! She said she doesn't see me as 'more than a friend' so that means we're friends, right? Greatest. Night. Ever.
awkward moment on night shift - per Tyrone & Diego most kids DONT have to pay for their braces w allowance $??? Feelin "played" here, mom...
My coworker Lisa is beginning to suspect the truth, that the battered guitar case I bring w me to work lately is empty and just for show
My LinkedIn profile is coming along nicely. Heres hopin some of my custs from TCBY follow thru on promises to write a little recommendation?
pet owners: is having a really good dog at all like having a gf/bf?not sexually (duh), but the commitment part, budget constraints, etc
bought Snow Crash, "To Timmy w Love" written inside cover. When I read it I pretend Im Timmy, drowning in love. In a way its like I know him
I just chowed down eighteen fortune cookies and without being too specific let's just say it's shaping up to be a verrry exciting September!
0 for 4 on asking folks if they need help moving furniture into their new apartment. Well, 0 for 1 really (same girl four times)
Okay, Smiths' "Asleep": Great song. But I resent how it paints wanting to sleep forever as this awful ugly thing. Um, maybe I'm just tired?
only 350 miles to go til my next oil change. cant wait to chat w the guys (Troy, Eric, long-haired guy), see what's up at the ole Jiffy Lube
apparently you can print biz cards cheap? might order some, leave em around mall, bus etc. Prof listener? Help you move/pack? niceguy.org?
part of me loves getting splinters because I know they'll eventuall come out and I privately crave the sense of accomplishment
Eric called me a loser this morning but I'm not offended...pretty sure he meant to say "lawyer" because I was quoting the employee handbook.
Forgot to mention: When I checked out at Amazon it asked me if this purchase was a gift! Wow, I take that as a compliment!
Just ordered "Dating for Dummies" off Amazon The reviews were positive, and from girls too! Maybe they'll be impressed I'm making the effort
gonna start going to the gym and use a few diff lockers for all my stuff so maybe i can strike up a convo if anyone is near one of em
lay on of my car hood last night out by airport, watchng planes take off and mentally sending best wishes to those lucky folks on the move
guy in mall today spent 20 min selling me $3200 roofing contract. I live in apt but didnt want to disappoint him...hes coming over Friday.
I bet I'd appreciate the quiet, introspective monotony of my commute a lot more if I worked at a real penitentiary not just a figurative one
dreamt that 2 different girls from 2 different high schools committed suicide(poison, hanging),couldnt bear life w/o me. What an AWFUL dream
Got a bday present from Uncle Chet, a free Costco membership! (he's a regional mgr). My bdays in May but I'm a big thought-that-counts guy
Didn't ride the elevator at work today. Couple girls in there and Lisa told me I can "creep them out" in small spaces... Called sick instead
Was feelin like a fat loser but then realized that every time I wear mismatched socks I'm creating not one but two brand new sock combos
Downtown everyone who looks like they are going someplace is carrying a briefcase.thinking about getting one. Lunch, PSP,snacks,mix CDs, etc
Lisa's friend Becky visited TCBY tonight,asked me what my preferred drink was. I said Arizona Rasp Iced Tea? had to pretend I was joking...?
sometimes i listen to the song London Calling and wonder how cool it must be to have anyone or anybody calling you, literally or otherwise
Found ot my brother Seth is Craigslisting my comic collection to buy pot?Not cool,Sethster! Someone will enjoy em,tho,that's what matters...
Q: What's the longest period of time to elapse where noone thinks abt me, not even for a minute? A: .00001 seconds (God, aliens (probable) )
Discarded hat on bus. Thought how much cooler that hat's life story probably was than mine. Almost stole it. Didn't, mainly out of respect.
found my old sketchbook.Garbage, scribblings.But then I think of all the great talents who inspired me. and well, if theyre happy,I'm happy!
An apple a day keeps the doctor away? How bout I keep the apples away & I get a doctor a day in return? (not for surgery,just to touch base)
Forgot to say I left my Big Mac and Fries on Mr Reeds table last night, but maybe he'll think they were a gift? At least I had my sundaes...
Ran into Mr Reed (HS calc teacher) last night at McDs! nice convo but awful short? He prob still feels bad abt that quiz. I know I do...
Fave Hughes film? Prob planes trains and autos. Nothin wrong w wanting to ride the train alone for awhile like J Candy did @ the end there
offered half my king-size Snickers to cute girl on subway, she said no then got off @ next stop. must be on a diet, I envy her dedication
new TCBY experiment: undercharge customers by rounding down to nearest dollar if they address me as buddy, pal or amigo when placing order
I Twitter Purge every day - if by purge you mean trust my deepest emotions with strangers who nonetheless are as close as friends to me
Id be a very good lead singer cos Id do so many interviews. the press could just come up when I was eating lunch and start an interview
was a little upset wasnt invited to Mom's birthday party, then found out shes not having one?? wrappin up this Lloyd Alexander boxset anyway
Come to Fairview Mall, I'm handing out TCBY $1 off coupons Thu/Fri in front of the fountain. toot toot next train to Friendsville all aboard
I cant watch Ferris Buellers Day Off without feeling a little bad for Abe Froman, the sausage king of Chicago
big party next door, trying to focus on book, can't help listening. ppl keep guffawing. Would it kill you to tell the jokes a little louder?
Idea! New iphone app-you shake it,it dials 3 random ppl from the phone book,puts you in 3-way call together. Best of all: its free!
cant sleep, staring at ceiling thinking about cars going fun places. Wish I had a fun place or a car, either really, or a buddy
Entourage is cool and all but they sure take their friendships for granted. I'd _probably_ stop to smell the flowers, but that's me.
Happy Friendship Day! to me, every day is Friendship Day - or would be if I was someone else. Not envious, just a wide-eyed dreamer
wanna aska pregant woman what it feels like to contribute something beautiful 2 the world...I wouldn't know (assume quake mods dont count)
Slow day @TCBY today...spent time daydreamin of the perfect birthday party, or any party. the sorts of ppl that might come, what theyd bring
thinking about getting bearded iguana, one of those iguanas. Sit on my shoulder, good listener, low cost, won't try to judge me. Negatives?
got so stoked, Lisa asked me if I was free Sat nite!Turns out just needed someone to cover her shift, but I think were buildin somethin here
its a good thing I have no plans for the weekend, honestly been too tired to even think that far ahead! just gonna brace for any curveballs
just told my cousin that Lobot was Anakin's uncle, he swallowed it hook line and sinker...heh, never grow old, young Padawan
i wonder what multiplayer Super Mario Kart is like
sheesh pullin teeth to get some help at this used CD store. Dont they have any other bands/albums to recommend? so helpful last three times.
<sometimes ya feel like a ghost...sometimes ya don't>
sooo depressing to be a ghost, have something to say to the living, whoops here come the Ghostbusters, I'm shot! Thanks for caring Egon
picked up a girl who was thumbin for a ride. Turns out she was a prostitute. Whoops! Dropped her off @ Shell, got a kiss for $3 :)
My brother Seth has given all his friends/gfs my home # while he's crashing here. Ringin off the hook, its like I'm somebody else
if Twizzlers were like friends I would be the Red Vines of friends.Dependable, always in stock, sturdy but satisfying, & the price is right
The Dr. says I'm in top 8% in total excess bodyfat for my height. I can live w that, after all some folks arent in the top 8% of anything...
that movie where the wild things are sort of reminds me of when i was a kid, only theres more than one monster
www.horoscopes.com - wild how much more popular Id be if Id been born just 24h earlier/later. looks like I'll settle for "sassy,inquisitive"
dreamt I was johnny depp, signin autographs...just smilin,signin, lots of hand-shakin, few hugs, nice 2 taste the champagne, even in a dream
someone just referenced my Twitter as a source for the Wikipedia entry on Social Anxiety! feels great to get some recognition from my peers
5th rejection letter from Comedy Central, nixing my new sketch comedy show idea. This one wasnt a form letter so I must be gettin somewhere.
girl just left my apartment mad..Got my sexy shorts on, rejected bowl of ice cream, tenchi dvds only half done; i can still party
checkin' out "musicians wanted" in local paper. sounds like a plan, but upon investigation all these instruments seem pretty hard to learn!
spent the morning @ the zoo again, got there bright and early. i think the golden lion tamarins in particular are starting to recognize me
my breakfast fell to the floor sunny side up
Anyone else here sick of people who agree via craigslist to murder you irl and then you show up and theyre too pussy. man up
its not that friends dont love hanging out w me, its just theres so many other people theyd rather hang out with. thus my totem pole theory.
wearing my "Free Hugs" t-shirt again today. with any luck i won't spill chili all over it this time
spent a 1/2hr or so yesterday at the park walking lazy nonchalant circles around a  group of frisbee players, just in case of an errant toss
Gonna be a good day, bumped into Harold and Maude on A&E over breakfast. Skipping work. I guess there really is a light that never goes out!
got performance review. rated satisfactory overall, but "challenged by group settings"? Ever think its the group thats challenging, Sigmund?
sexual harassment workshop this Mon. Frankly I welcome any insight into the hazy and treacherous maelstrom of workplace social interaction
if I were a pirate I would keep one survivor from every ship I plundered, hold em in the galley. Ten years later, voila, ship full of pals!
psychics network, maybe. psychic friends network, hardly.
asked Lisa out to Kurosawa filmfest, 2 bad has to go to Best Buy to buy a "Slipknot" CD? gues thats why she intrigues me, respects the arts
Saw Weird Science for the first time last night and I dont think those two guys even knew what they had in terms of a friend and confidante.
idea:smuggle tape recorder into espresso bar, surreptitiously record hubbub of normal conversation, just play it on repeat at home.Soothing
turns out there's nothing in the company ethics & practices about crying in the office. my coworkers need not hold their sadness in anymore!
people should only be allowed to buy a tandem bike if they're single. I'm a killer pedaller or could also steer, your bike your call!
B&N: Standing room only at Oprah Book Club, nobody at my Neil Gaiman discussion group. Independence Day, indeed. :rolleyes:
guy at fireworks store laughed when I asked which firework is the most slo-mo-ish...obviously he's never listened to My Morning Jacket
maybe if i can through a bunch of sparklers in the air high enough, people will notice
came home from Target emptyhanded, youd think a big store like that would stock at least a couple one-player board games (7/4 bash my place)
In a perfect world I liken myself to a slightly less gregarious Tony Starks. razor sharp intellect, envy of many, freq found in basement
"Dark Knight"? No thanks, think I'll pass. Like many of us, Batmans silent pain hits a little. Too. Close. To. Home.
i see so many ppl that could probably use a segway... prob should focus on getting one of those so I can just focus on givin people lifts
boycotting blockbuster for not sharing their cust's rental histories. how could i ever plan a small at-home film festival without knowin ...
website idea: peopleyouknow.com, just list contact info for people you know that might be good friends for me or others. free registration.
Although, hypothetically I could probably save a lot of money on presents that way.
It's always winter and never Christmas.
great meal tonight at Olive Garden. Helped Nancy (waitress) clear my table just to the silverware station & back. she gave me a peppermint!
Realized on the way to work that I put on brown shoes with my black pants. I hope no one notices. But maybe they'll think I'm a rebel...
if i wore a face mask everywhere, would people feel more or less comfortable around me? not sick, just trying to be pro-active
bought lrg rasp julius, asked for 2 straws, said "kidding", then said I wasn't, then was, then wasnt. she went into back room, still waiting
one less follower today. it was a girl too. oh well, always did feel a little egotistical acting like my tweets are interesting . . .
met some friends tonight- waited behind Regal for Star Trek to finish, pretended I just saw it too. Good convo in parking lot, no #s but hey
my bro seth came by for small $ loan and place to crash. weird listening to him having sex w his gf in my bed, but glad he feels at home.
couldnt find much unclaimed food in here. half a yogurt, baggie of wheat thins, some prosciutto (yum), some flat Pellegrino to wash it down
welp, forgot my lunch at home today and the cafeteria here doesn't take credit or debit and i dont have any cash. department fridge raid!
unexpected personal mail today...from my ISP! just a monthly bill, but w smilie face in margin. Thinking about calling,find out who likes me
do you think they'll ever make affordable robot friends?
a girl told me that not just one but two people love me! jesus and my mom. the way she said it makes me think things are lookin up.
the waitress tripped and accidentally dropped my breakfast, but most the eggs remained sunny side up and delicious
i wish the child i'm sponsoring would stop sending me form letters - although it is thoughtful for him to use my first name
just picked up leonardcohenringtones.net for $12.99 but of course i wont do anything with it. not like I'm busy tho...just lack the gitupngo
joined facebook and sent out some friend requests. it's been a couple weeks but i'm really looking forward to getting those confirmations
saw someone wearing my fave checkered scarf I left on the subway. def mine, but they seemed so warm and comfortable, probably meant to be
gossiping gabby hasn't respond to my ims for a week - hope she's okay
killer dream, just sittin round w friends talkin bout whatever it is folks like that talk about. so nice to just share, even in my dreams
judy pointed out that its p much impossible to commit suicide w/o totally ruining someone elses day. i hope i get her again next time i call
according to yahoo answers, tears *are* good for your skin
I sent a gift as "a secret admirer" to the pretty girl in the office, but her boyfriend took credit for it. I'm glad she liked it anyway...
when I feel lightheaded part of me prays that if I -am- seriously ill, it's some crazy HouseMD type illness so I can make some doctor a hero
smith doggy dogg is in the hizzouse, hahaha. ahh, but really folks, listening to phish will make you less depressed
the zipper on my lunchbox broke, my lunch fell out onto the ground, my sandwich got smushed, my yogurt exploded but the cookies survived.
i'd make an excellent hostage
i see people in the halls & i wonder if they know i can hear them through the walls. i talk real soft & its like we're having a conversation
Having trouble thinking of anything less ironic than rain on my wedding day, were such a day to ever unironically transpire
normally dogs won't eat out of my hand but i can get one of those automated feeding bowls so the pooch won't feel creeped out
i think if maybe you got some pet insurance you could attract a pet and it would be willing to stay with you even if it wasn't too happy
looking online for a tv set with natural lighting, to compensate for the lack of windows in my studio apartment
I'm part glad that i eat and eat and eat yet get no fatter, yet part of me yearns for change, any change, anything to feel...alive...?
found a fortune cookie under my bed, want to give it to Elsie (Hallmark store) but what if its one of those vaguely accusatory fortunes
goin to sleep hugging myself, knowing full well I'll wake up not hugging myself...feels good to be hugged tho
just because i'm having my birthday dinner alone tonight doesn't mean the waiters don't have to sing at my table
found 300 new reasons to sleep all day and then i dropped every single page in a puddle on the street. 301
guy elbowed me getting off train, I dropped my triple scoop dutch chocolate baskin robbins waffle cone onto the track. no big deal
Got a job at a suicide hotline; so many people to talk to! Until the calls stopped. They eventually laid me off & told me suicide was solved
couple downstairs were fighting all night and i was gonna go comfort her but they had makeup sex early this morning. i love happy endings
The best thing about Star Wars video games is all the bottomless pits you can jump into when you get tired of of playing.
thinking of ditchin bedframe, going w enormous jumbled stack of used quilts & comforters, each one smelling faintly like someone else's life
badass tv show: a guy goes around shaking hands with people and one of them is me
i wonder if going around the park picking up pet poop would be a good way to meet girls walking their dogs
the microsoft office paperclip has stopped trying to give me advice; "you don't know what you've got till it's gone"
kinda wish I was a unit in an RTS...straightforward purpose, no emotional detritus, gratifyingly short-lived. whats not to savor
couldnt finish watching the pacifier tonight..vin diesel as Lieutenant Shane Wolf may deserve a happy ending but i do not
been waiting at locked door of Walgreens bathroom for around 30 min, sounds like some folks are having sex in there, too shy 2 knock though
just found out quick draw mcgraw and el kabong are the same person. maybe there is hope for me after all
sometimes i wish these selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors weren't so choosy
The barista I like made me a tall double xtra whip mocha instead of a venti triple xtra whip white mocha. I got to keep both! Coincidence?
single tear in my microwave cream of wheat; damn you and your achingly evocative prose, John Updike
speaking as an atheist, the intimacy of Twister is...a little tough to fathom. Don't wanna get that close, dont wanna think about it either.
Why do nice guys always finish first....in the opposite marathon??? seriously need answer soon
Summer's almost here, and while I don't really go outside myself, it's nice to know there will be happy people to watch out the window again
my name is unsmith and im here to say/Its cool to sleep 17 hours every day. "Word"
if someone instant messages you with the screen name "unsmithisanoob" please for the love of god do not respond
IDEA: all-request radio station. call in, tell me what you want to hear, anything at all, I play it. just call and talk to me about it.
heard a payphone ringing at mall, raced to get it...some dude standing like 6 in. from it snags it instead. How bout sharin there, jerkface?
Today my department got an award for outstanding performance. I asked if I could take the award home but they said it was for the office...
went to Dennys for breakfast, wanted to write my tel# on restroom wall w marker, left it on a PostIt Note instead, more considerate that way
folklore dictates that having a raven poop on you twice is for good luck. that's how i'm going to play out these ranch stains.
hands touching in a large popcorn is pretty great even if you don't know whose the other one was.
a girl 4 rows back is trying to remember a word. i know the word she's looking for, too. do i go over there? shout it? oh well.
at the movies, just figured out that the armrests fold up. doubt i'll ever use that but its nice to know its there
i wish the McDonalds around here still offered free smiles
you're never too old to have fun at the water park by yourself
anthony robbins is in town for a seminar again. hopefully this time someone torrents it so i can check it out.
hoping i have that dream again where i'm in crouching tiger hidden dragon and everyone comes to me wanting to learn martial arts *sigh*
i wonder how much girls are like full body pillows & if they wear out as fast
the telemarketers dont call as much anymore. Wish I could call them, to let em know Im still interested in chatting about new offers
drinking this energy drink was a terrible idea, now I can't sleep. Hey cool, let's eliminate a top three activity, good thinking there.
I like watching Fox News because they report, but they let me decide. I like that feeling after a long day of being manipulated and servile.
if you get creative w Youtube searches, theres a ton of cool party footage. mostly first-person so its easy to imagine you're there, partyin
my foster mother still hasn't returned my call this sunday... i hope the correctional facility hasn't taken her phone privileges away again
played "tag" w a couple of fellow commuters on the way home. I love when they pretend they're not actually racing...brings us closer
Met a dog at the park today & gave him some of my Whopper. He ate it but then he walked off. Sat on the bench a while but he never came back
Was trying to open my umbrella and I dropped my book and papers in a puddle. But the girl at Starbucks saw it and gave me free hot chocolate
faked a mugging again today, muchos sympathy points at work. ripped my Black Celebration tour shirt tho. Some days you just can't win
The cool thing abt not having a favorite sports team is if you went to a sports bar your friendmaking options would be practically limitless
Either theres like eight people coming over friday night to party or I was just the victim of a joke! Either way, Kool to be one of the Gang
i wonder if a singing telegram person would want to hang around longer than the pizza guy or the mail lady
made friends w a gruff but nice homeless guy named Paulo today, hopefully he can be my 2-bigmacs-meal buddy not just today but everyday?
a storm destroyed all the flowers but one, a small one, hiding among the tall stems of the others, its little blossom now alone in the wake
i made my first school friend in kindergarten, and my second in eighth grade.
if i was teller i would be okay with being quiet around penn.
If I was on the island from Lost I wouldn't explore around or question reality, I'd just mostly be happy to be among friends who valued me
sometimes i walk around the park on a huge broken-heart-shaped path i charted with my gps, trying to wear down the grass
when i get a gf i will arrange her frosted mini wheats frosting-side-down in the bowl so the frosting hits her tongue every time
i'm glad i'll never have the temptation to use the office printer for personal use
There's a few seconds every morning when you first wake up where you forget who you are.
I smiled at 6 or 7 cars on the way to work this morning. Gonna keep an eye on craigslist missed connections for the next couple days
I bought a drink for a girl last night.  I hope she noticed that her tab was only for 4 cosmos and not the 5 she drank.
note to guidance counselor: just because I said sleeping forever sounds like paradise, that doesn't mean I'm suicidal!
the girl with the lazy eye who made my hot chocolate today put a lil heart over the i in smith.
the ice cream truck stopped for me today
you know, even using the most conservative figures, there's tens of thousands of people who would possibly love to have me for a friend
leaned on counter, watched pretty girl depart w doublescoop vanilla, mouthed lyrics to "Dont You (Forget About Me)" without uttering a sound
i'm not sure where you go when you die, but i like to think it's a place where everything is forgiven and new and my little brother is there
If I could be any Muppet I'd probably be...Rowlf (the dog). Everyone seems to like him & he seems so comfortable around people, just like me
I wonder if that girl in the doctor’s office has mono just like me. Nice to think about her watching internet tv for six weeks too.
LaTonya not at work today, turns out she gave her notice!? Lil frustrating as we were making progress, non-incidental eye contact, etc
Couldn't think of anything to say last night at the bar, but that's okay.  I'm sure she's used to it, a beautiful waitress like that.
leaving George RR Martin paperbacks in mens room hoping for a lil book exchange...they're gone, no responses yet. No prob, have em all in HC
it sort of makes me regret being home-schooled, but they are so cheap on ebay that i probably saved a lot of money
lookin through this old yearbook. composing mix CDs in my head for friends (and those who i wished were my friends)
